Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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