Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
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i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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