I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
