Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
