I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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