Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
where am i from again
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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