Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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