Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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