'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
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