hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
