You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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