I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
