wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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