it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
