I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
