I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
