Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My vagina is very pro this idea
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
