no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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