You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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