I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
