What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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