Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
