were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
