Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.