Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
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Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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