how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.