I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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