he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
