i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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