I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
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on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
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I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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