You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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