so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm just crazy horny about you
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
