he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
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Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
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you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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