the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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