Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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