It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
