Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
