He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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