Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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