Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize