Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
