Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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