Everything about him screamed your future.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
