We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
