Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
