you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is this like a preordered booty call?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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