TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
