i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
