it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
