i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
