I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
