i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize