That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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