Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
