Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
