hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
