I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
