He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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