you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
