finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
