is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
