4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
